*~GeNiE iN tHe BoTtLe~*

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

HEY EVERYBODY! ^0^ JEANNE HAS LEFT BLOGGER (which is here)

and LEFT FOR TUMBLR!!!!!
(WHICH IS HERE!!! www.geniesprite.tumblr.com ) ^0^

DO RELINK ME AND CONT MY JOURNEY OVER THERE!

perhaps one day i will get back to you blogger ^.^ but not till the day when u are fully "recovered" keke get well soon! bye bye!!!! ^o^/

8:16 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

IS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! ^0^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLLYYYYY

cun imagine it s finally over.... cun help smiling seriously!!!!!! HAHAHA hmm in case u are reading this and question marks appears thinking wats tis stupid gal happying bout... she jus ENDED HER PIANO EXAMMMMMMM!!!!! tt had been depressing her for SOOOO long.....

no more thinking bout piano the moment i wake up

no more dreaming bout beethoven

no more prac piano rite after piano

no more crying in piano lesson

no more piano lesson!!!

i m going to miss ms chew =.= hard time for her really... hav to tahan me crying in class and depressing.... thank you ms chew.. thank you very much for all the patience and care. there's high possibility tt i will fail tis time.... but is totally not ur fault =)

process of my piano exam... i shall not dexcribe... but one thing i wanna say is tis is the friendliest examiner i ever hav!!! after the santa-claus-like-examiner frm my first piano exam. but i think i let her down =.=

and when there's gd news there's bad news too.... tis time the bad news' quality is equally bad as the gd news.... JEANNE LOST HER WALLLETTTTTTTT!!!!! >o< WHOLE WALLET!!!! tts on mon nite... william's lesson... most likely:

i went to toilet put on toilet roll AGAIN and

cuz jeanne scare so she faster fin her business and

go out forgeting her wallet...

thinking about piano aural theory tt she jus memorised..

not noticing the absence of her wallet till....

after class thn found tt her wallet is gone thn totally shock and lost....

jeanne is very much blessed with great frenz and family and she is very gladful for tt.. her classmates search everywhere for her! even in the rubbish bin!! >.< *touch* and went with her to report lost... daddy bring her to police station to report lost and lecture her abit but seriously jeanne shld have learnt frm her lesson alrrrr.... mummy and sis consoling and jeanne have to

go ICA do a new ic

go student affair make new student pass

go transitlink make new ez link

go bank make new atm card

go traffic police make new driving license

jeanne ask " daddy, do i ned to take tp again for new license? @_@ "

*knock head*

haix..... so much trouble.......

p.s. thank you all lovelies who wishes me gd luck for piano exam and consoling me for my lost wallet, deep frm my heart. ^-^

9:40 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Sunday, August 23, 2009

@_@

2 more days....

2 days later tis timing... i will be smiling lik a stupid fool kekekekeke

but now i still.... actually... my piano prac have been improving tis few days ready... i jus hope i wun hav some stupid mistakes on tue seriously >_<

Jeanne's traumatic period will be:

tue 25th aug
Orchard paragon 5th floor
kawaii music sch
3.45pm

the most half hour after tt timing jeanne will be so happy tt she can hug the ang-moh-stranger-examiner!!!

p.s. jia you tong lei! for ur exam!!!! we can do it!!! soon very soon it will be over!!!! =D

p.s.

i m longing for the time whn........
my hands become the piano.........
my fingers become the piano keys
my soul becomes the piano stings

my eyes become the notes............
my brain become the composer...
my heart become the melody.......

10:31 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

omg..... today is tue ready!!!!! next TUE IS THEEEE DAYYYY!!!!!! >o<

is sooo fast omg.... last tue i stil think "o next tue have to tel chin kang and ms tan i will not be in class next wk" thn *blink* TODAY IS TT TUE READY!!!!

and next tue is thattttt tue =.=

hmm.. piano progress is quite not bad i can say.... but stilll.... have tt may-fail-feeling...

so i will hav to maintain my improvement haha if u noe wat i mean

homework is STRESS and LOADS... and i seriously cannot conc till next tue omgdness.....

nvm jeanne wiil strive thru!!!!!! gambatte!!! p>.<

12:37 AM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Sunday, August 16, 2009

so fast.... tmr is mock exam ready =.= (mini concert as we say)

we have to play the 3 exam pieces and paly watever scales told.. and all parents will be there +__+

and if u are sitting beside me listening me prac piano for tmr... u can literally faint... =___=ll u will be thinking... " how the hell can tis gal play for concert tmr with THIS (standard)???"
many breakdowns as usual...
many wrong notes....
many wrong countings
many weird speed....
how to concert lik tt............. =.=

anw m prepared to have a fool of myself tmr ready so... doesn't matter how throw face it will turn out to be... jus hope mum they all wun fel ps.... >_<

q.o.t.d. with confindence you have won before u started..
( ya-ar rite... lets hope i have confidence tmr.... thank you)

12:25 AM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Saturday, August 15, 2009

keke think blogger become alright after 12am...

think sth wrong with my brain world or sth.... (no not menta prob lol hahax) or perhaps i have dilema or maybe lik wat kenneth had show us last wek tis movie called "momentum" or sth whn tis guy totally forget wat happened less than a min ago... e.g he is runnin, hiding from sbd but after a few sec he forget why is he running and and and thn tot he is chasing that sbd =__=

recently whn i wake up i seems to have jus reborned or sth i cun really rmb immediately wat happen yest or wat day is it today hahahax sianed...

may i not wake up?

too much dreamland in my brain....

sometimes they are so much friendlier than the reality world....

hax... anw...guess i wil onli have the motivation to do homework after 25th aug seh...

i cannot imagine how i will fel after coming out frm that piano studio of pargon on tt day... seriously..... maybe jeanne will be too happy until she has a heart attack and end up in hospital lolx

12:39 AM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Thursday, August 13, 2009

hahahah ok finally can lik put colours but stil weird lolx

feling rite now:

relief abit (cuz hist ppt ended)
tired (cuz whole day... frm hm to nie frm nie to nafa frm nafa to home)
sigh (cuz piano mock exam getting nearer and nearer... lik ah 2 days?)
sigh again ( cuz piano EXAM is nearing lik hell too... is lik... 12 more days? @_@)

69.20 bucks on a book called "creative and mental growth" i shall hope i m interested in it hahahax sounds interesting tho....

list check... wat not done:

email ms kehk class contact list
photocoy chin's notes for the class
william's wepage 3 pages @_@
kay's wk 4 notes
ms tan edited edited typo poster
chin's 5 hands and 5 arms on 2 a3 paper
prac piano
prac piano
prac piano

feeds for the day:

PASSION
whn u care about wat u do, enthusiasm carries you through.. whn u are passionate no one has to motvate you.
Wherever you are, you aren't stuck- you are a human being, not a tree!!

well ok keke recently these words "passion", "faith" has been lik chasing after me to prevent me from not giving up the piano exam... hmm... i m not a tree i wun stuck in this cannot-play-piano-well-situation... so fight on jeanne... very soon..... it will all b over =)

11:11 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

nie starts THIS THUR

needa bring 60 BUCKS for nie TEXTBOOK

nie ends at 230pm thn whole class hav to GO BACK NAFA for KAY'S MKUP LESSON

kay's mkup lesson needa do PRESENTATION about sth which i din drop down note properly again.....

SUNDAY PIANO MOCK EXAM....

i have to fall in luv with piano back lik how i had b4... i can onli break up with piano after 25th aug.. for the time being i ned her she ned me and no matter how much dispute we have i have to luv her lik how much i did before so that she can feel my luv and be good. my fingers have to seriously fall in luv with the piano keys... dating with the piano keys is hardship for my fingers i noe but i no they will beable to patch back and stay peace till 25th aug...jia you piano! jia you my hand! my finger!! me!!! everyone!

11:27 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Thursday, August 06, 2009

sadly blogger stil cannot add colours =.= perhaps blogger oso wanna me to stay more monotone now since recently i am... life with macam no colours except maybe... blue(tears) so here i m in live journal... a very long post i noe... but a very needable post...

deviantart-~XxHayleyXx3-Black...white

my scriptwriter may have forgotten me or left his/her colour pens somewhere and thus not able to add colour into my life and therefore dunno how to give me a better script (ok i dunno how come can put colour ready LOL) anw... cun write me a better script by let say sth lik..

"jeanne prac her piano with so much effort and happily go for her piano lesoon. with ms chew's amaze jeanne can play so well already! she is very sure she can pass her piano exam and jeanne hence become more confident and cun wait for the piano exam which is in 2 weeks time, to show the stranger-ang-moh-examiner that she is ready to recieve a pass with flying colours certificate"

and not like....

"jeanne prac her piano with so much effort, trying her very best to finish learning the last piece and polishing the other 2 pieces and mastering her scales.. she went fot piano lesson with much worry that she cannot play well in lesson. she played the last piece first and ms chew once again disappointed with jeanne. jeanne cannot play well anymore not lik how she play at home. there are mistakes and wrong notes.... after so MUCH practising and fine tuning.... and spent her whole wek ends and every nights infront of the piano.... she cried as she plays and ms chew notice it but can't say anything. the tears blurred jeanne eyes and she cun see the notes clearly anymore... she fel lik yelling but she controlled.... failure is a sure tis time.... but she mus at least finish the 3 pieces as a whole or else... she cun even fail her piano exam...."

haix..... can u write me a better script? sth lik the first one? am i.. asking too much?

as believing in the scriptwriter of life i always believe this thing called the "sign"

not the sign, signified and signifier kinda sign anw so dun scratch your head and think too much wat i meant is whereby sign here means something/sbd tt appears out of the blue in your life but tt thing is so very important....

jus as i m thinking how come tis time i m living so miserably with this piano exam thingy hanging there...
hmm...
where on earth is my scriptwriteR??? >_<

scriptwriter had always been putting signs into my life so as to make my life so called easier..... everytime a big thing happen.... scriptwriter will put in some signs to tell me how to cont my story back to a smooth one.. and live a life with challenge yet not a big bang kinda obstacle.

tis time my signs are big aunt, and paulo coelho's book

big aunt came to visit grandma on sat
and jus nice i m playing piano.
she ask if my piano exam coming
i say yes s
he cont telling me bout my 2 cousins who had given up piano long ago and stopped at grade 8...
BUt i dont noe tt they actaully
took the piano exam TWO times!
and they failed TWO TIMES...
seriously...
jus as i m thinking i m sure to fail my piano exam tis time.... sbd suddenly tell me her children both failed greade 8 and TWO times somemore... tt suddenly boost me abit...

thn today as walking in heartland mall wanting to get a socks for my hp...
pass by tis bookshop which i all along tot is a 2nd hand shop but is a rental cum seeling bookstore...
seldom do i go in but today i went in cuz sbd is inside so i dun fel tt awkward haha
so... went in first thing in mind wonder if they have paulo coelho's book and
walk walk walk.. thinking my god...
so many books.... how do i noe where the hell is paulo coelho s book??
thn i calm myself down abit...
stop my pace infront of the corner....
hoping hoping to see book jump onto me and
OMG paulo's books!! so many!!!
at one little corner.... my gdness!!!! they heard my calling?? hahaha
so ya i bought afew book home some prob tho but anw...
first book i read abit is Manual of the warrior of light.... one page in it encouraged me in playing piano and prac hard.....

" the warrior plunges unhestitatingly into the river of passions always flwing through his life," "he can distinguish between transient and the ENDURING"

ya..wat i have been doing all this while is ENDURE... endure the negative of me tt wanna give up piano exam and endure the hardship of practising piano and enduring all the discouragement my heart or my brain or my eyes or my fingers had given me.... but one qn... why m i here GOING to have my grade 8 exam soon? because i m the warrior of light ( we all are) my initial passion for piano!! where is it?? transient is a temporary kinda thing and since i had come so long way to grade 8 means i have been enduring. now i m jus nearing the end... cun i endure more longer?

perhaps lik wat paulo said...

"the angel in charge of recieving yours words and who is also responsible for the joy of faith, has wandered off somewhere. however he will soon be back and will only know where to find you if he or she hears a prayer (in my case hear me prac piano) or a request from you lips"

i have to kep practising and "say my prayers out of duty or fear, but kep praying. keep on even if all seems in vain" in my case i m a free thinker. prayers here simply means praying to my director of life.

deviantart-~ZestyO- Pray to the above

"director of my life, pls give me the courage to overcome the fear of piano exam and provide me the strength to play the piano well with confident. i do not ask for a pass for this exam but at least make me not disappoint ms chew for every lessons. and hope you can encourage me not to cry anymore as crying doesnt make me a better person.. thank you.

1:12 AM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Friday, July 31, 2009

alrite i still cannot blog properly...i duno wat happened to blogger... and i had written a really long post tt i die die mus put colours and photos one.... so i shalll leave tt entry as draft till blogger is fine... rite now.... i will jus type it this way... it hurts ur eyes i noe but bear with it..

is 1145pm ready and
i m alr so tired...
haven fin my hw yet
and i stil haven finish learning my 3rd piano piece
and piano exam is in 4 more lessons time
and i stil hav the verge of giving up tis exam
and i stil have the urge to not giv up whn i played my first piece (cuz it is so called well played...)
thinking after doing so much things
so much effort
so much time
so much money
i stilll wanna give up?

humans always give up whn things get difficult and always find excuses for it jus lik wat i had been doing inconsistently jus for this piano exam thingy....

u noe.. i can simply make a call to ms chew and say i wanna give this piano exam a miss and i will stop piano till maybe whn i start teaching.... AND all my prob will be sloved!
i no ned to face emoly infront of my piano..
i no ned to kep thinking how useless i m not able to finish learning..
i no ned to force myself playing songs i m alr really very sick of
i no ned to kep sighing jus jus jus for for for piano.....

but rite after this tot the guilt of excusing will engulf me (even tho i din even make this call.. i will nv anw...) but the thought of this call can alr make me fel so guilty, not to say how much i will regret and guilt if i really really call off this piano exam...

so wat i can do now

no matter how ugly i will or may perform on exam day infront of the stranger-ang-moh-piano-examiner...
i still hav to go... and will go and face the stranger-ang-moh-piano-examiner
EVEN to act as a clown for jus tt day infront of tt stranger-ang-moh-piano-examiner...
and achieve a legend result of "fail" in the end...by the stranger-ang-moh-piano-examiner...
but at least i noe....

26th aug.... i will beable to smile exactly a big smile jus lik... a clown... nitex.

11:45 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Thursday, July 23, 2009

=.= ok so long nv blog.... can see how unfrequent i can blog whn sch starts!!!!

and i duno wat happened to my blogger -__- i cun really type normally!!! AHH!!

anw hahahah sch is... eh... fine?? tired? next wk will be worse?

hahax ok more to talk whn my blogger is better and whn i hav the time!!!! hahahax chao!!!

5:57 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Sunday, July 19, 2009

a short post to end tis holi in
3..
2.....
1.........

yoooo...hoooo.....=.= sch REOPENED!

haha seriously tis time is the 1st time i dun lik the reopening of sch =.= or else usually i m the most excited one for the sch to reopen hahax strange..

anw =) today concert is so-so =.= not well tho but average hahax

tmr piano 10am thn
sch starts at 3pm
and end at 9pm @__@

lik wat shana always say.... it.. begins......

alright i shall start this reopening with some smiles tho =) jia you tis sem!!!!

tis
last...
year...
in...
nafa....

11:20 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Deviantart-Steampunk Antique WINGS brooch-NobleStudiosLtd

times flies they dun walk so here i m... writing reflections of tis holi tt is going to end in.. exacatly one more day... wu... =.=

wat i did... i really dunno leh!!! omg... ok maybe some q and a hahax
(warning: long post as u scrol down..)

the place i go most often:
hospital market home

the best achievement:
i pass my tp and get my licence!
learn to cook more
finish learning 2nd piano exam piece and tmr is concert for tt!! =_=lll

the thing i do most:
prac piano
helping grandma up

the thing i struggle most:
hist notes piano

the thing i lik most:
afew days which i can wake up at 12pm willingly

another achievement:
repainted simei pap kids reading corner de wall mural keke

the role i hav been doing tis holi:
a gal under depession, who is recovered
a bookworm, thanks to hist notes abit oso
a nurse of grandma, in hosp or at hm haha
a cooker, the house daughter of the house
a driver, lolx fetch my dad onli keke
a slacker, whn i hav whole day at home and actually planned so many things i wanna do but at the end.... =.=

things i failed to do:
alot.... din paint any additional painting..
din even take another look of my paintings tt i did for assesment
din finish learning alll 3 pieces of piano exam pieces..
yet to put all my artworks in deviantart.. o ya deviantart..

website i go most often:
deviantart (my name there is geniesprite)
facebook ( meh heh... restaurant city and farm town)
blogger (see how often i blog tis holi!)

the things tt i stil wanna do:
alot leh... =.= haix....

today wake up not very late but weridly
hmmm duno how to explain
thinking... last 2nd day i can wake up lik tt....
breakfast thn
market the place i go almost everyday tis holi
the butcher uncle and aunt as usual
today they look older
i duno y
smile to me as usual
4 bucks pork bone as usual
chat abit as usual
thn i tel they i going to start sch ready
they giv a weird lok abit
thn smile again
haix.. y i fel so sad
thn to the zhui kueh aunty
to buy 1 buck zhui kueh as usual
today diffn
she has two more ppl with her
not her alone
she s supervising thm
y? is she.. going to
reitre?
fel sadder i duno y..
on the way back
i fel lost
is the same path back hm but
everything seems so...
old suddenly....
wats tt feeling...
i dun really noe...

anw.... ya holi is going to end and tmr is my piano concert... =.= such a gd way to end tis long-but-fel-short-holi... thn.... hell day will start again... starting with the so-very-thick-hist-notes tt i hav been struggling tis wek...
the whole wk at home actually makes me fel so....
reluctant to leave home....

most reluctant things:
-wun get to acc grandma so much and hav a gd chat with her during lunch and during cooking... -wun get to play with xiao bai so much or anymore...
-wun get to sit here every nite or noon to check out my fb or bloging
-wun get to slp and slack on my bed till noon then wake up...

hope:
-grandma will b fine without me not being at home the whole day
-xiao bai wun make noise so loud calling for "jingge"
-market aunties uncles dun forget me till duno whn will i go find them again
-i can finish all 3 pieces real soon.... by default shld finish learning on tis holi =.=
-sch wun start so vigourously =.= gggggg if u get wat it means
-i will b a gd class rep... i really dunno... nv been b4... for very long lolx -i wun be homesick LOL!

gdness... hahahah y i blog tis entry til as if i going somewhere so very far away for a long period of time likk tt sia hahahaha pardon me keke lol emo-genie is lik tt AHAHA alright... shall go to slp and get ready for tmr's piano concert =) shall see how i end tmr's last day holi entry. nitex ppl! b4 i get emo keke

11:59 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Friday, July 17, 2009

haha at least today drive frm woodland back home hahahah sth more "un-slack-ful" lolx

ok tts al i wanna say lol tired ah... keke wat i did in the morn and noon is the same as pass 2 days keke so not much to say...ok bb! nitex!

11:26 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Thursday, July 16, 2009

tmr shall be the 3rd day i stay at home whole day =.= actually luv it haha.
jus tt....dunno? hahaha

so whole day...
wake up late
brkfast
market-ing (means go market)

bath xiao bai
read hist notes
piano
hist notes

piano...
both making me fel so...
urgh.....
i cun do both well =.=lll
thn be house-daughter (if u get wat tt means lolx)
thn hist notes

cook dinner

serve dinner
piano
msn
hist notes
fb
here..

for 2 days lik tt =.= my god.... wat m i doing......

ok here goes

q.o.t.d. be glad of life, because it gives you the chnce to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars. ( to me best thing life give me is go to slp ^.^ nitex!)

p.s. congrats yan yan pass tp le!! ^o^ next is faezah!!! wohoo!
p.s. tong lei proj progress progess!!

2:00 AM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Saturday, July 11, 2009

tada!!!!!! ^o^

muahahaha for ppl who duno wat i m holding on top.... it is... my.. DRIVING LICENSE!!! ^o^ ahaha wokay ya i spelled wrongly lol nvm.. for ppl taking tp soon mus JIA YOU!!! ^o^ u can do it one! keke

so yest FINALLY saw all classmates ^o^ (most) hahaha and tan of cuz keke thn celeb sha's bdae! and... i m announced... the class rep =.= wu.... tak suka tak suka... dun lik.... yr 3 nye... i shall see wat i shall do... anw i will =) b a responsible class rep ( ok tt sounds so distant lolx) and do my best for the class (sound lik an oath =.=) lolx below photos how artistic we ate he cakes hahax

haha if u are sharp enuff to see wat we use to eat the cake (not cervix but.....you shall see clearly thn hahah)

shahidah! with our prezie for her! ^o^

haha ok then me sha anis pegi orchard rd!! ^o^ haha to think tt we can chat and stone on the bench for 1++ hour after buying stuffs frm art fren lolx...

is cool tho hahhaa shall wait till thur!!! SC CENTRE! lolx hope da vinci dun disappoint us lolx ^.^

thn piano... finally no more tears yest tho i stil did stop hlf way here there... i duno how to safe it... =.= tis sun 19th july... concert... wu..... thn very fast 25th aug will arrive =.=lll i will jia you!

so now jus finish lunch keke porriage and meat
jus now m in the decision of instant noodle
..or porridge..
instant noodle...
or porridge....
so at the end chosen porridge..

sch will reopen soon in 6 days...
by thn
i wun hav many chance to eat lunch at home...
not even dinner maybe...
so why not hav home made porridge for lunch than instant noodles
that i MAY be consuming many times whn sch starts =)

p.s. hav a bad flu now.. =.= pls stop. (wondering why do i always fall sick whn i have the whole day at home... =__=)

11:07 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

25th AUG GRADE 8 PIANO EXAM

shock
surprise
speechless
hopeless
=__=

today cried again during piano lesson... the feeling of nbd-understand-how-much-effort-you-put-in is very.. verryyyy irritating and

sad

open door say hello to ms chew
she hi back
me went into piano rm
sit dwn infront of the grand piano
breathe in
thn start prac those risky-parts
tt i may play wrong again...
ms chew came in and sit down
announce to me the 25th aug exam date
i nod and sigh abit
thn cont prac
ms chew gave a sudeen shockness "DIE!"
wat happen ms chew?
tis time really die.. one students name is not in the exam list
in my heart i hope is me but all i say is...
omg how come?
she is stil with the shocking face
me still hoping is me....
she looks helpless...
me still hoping is me...
thn thoughts of me no ned to go for piano exams came running back again...

haix.... with so much confidence... i went for today lesson and all i have is....

upset
disappoint
tears
restless
blank

wat can possibly change tis "at-home-play-is-ok" but "play-during-lesson-is-not-ok" fate?

i prac day and nite and nite and day and day till nite and even in my dreams... sbd tell me how?

deviantart-_pg_images- danbo piano

maybe i can onli face "reality".. lik wat paulo coelho mentioned in his Like The Flowing River:

after much practising, we no longer think about the necessary movements (for me the hands movement to play the pieces): they become part of our own existence. (i agree with this anw...cuz my hand can play well without my brain.. ) bur for this to happen, you must prac and repeat. (tts wat i have been doing... so far it helps in a way or two....) and if that isn't enough, you mus repeat and prac. (.... =_=....)

ok...

p.s. anw credit and thank you mel for introducing Like the flowing river to tong lei and thank you tong lei for putting up in her blog and thereafer me serching everywhere for tis worth a whole life book. (more bout tis book in some other entry in the future)

12:13 AM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Thursday, July 09, 2009

tired hands....

totally knee down to piano >.<

today after break fast prac piano...
today after lunch prac piano...
today after teabreak prac piano...
today after dinner prac piano...

=__= tmr piano lesson.. i hope.... i can do well.... i alr did my best.... m on a better track now at least.... and i noe how to prac well.... (by not letting the environment AND my thinkings affect me =.=) my brain still cannot "kep quiet" whn i play piano sometimes and tts the most loathesome thing.....

so today din go out.... actually i packed my bag, dressed well and step out of my house ready sia... thn as i walk....

i lok at the sky... going to rain...(nvm...)
ah... forget to bring umbrella...(nvm....)
cont walking eh... watch.... (ah... hack care...) cont walk walk walk
*bus 80 jus "fly" pass* ARGH.... ok forget it... i shall return back home =_=

haha so at the end i left home not more than 3 min.... thn i m back home again grandma tot i forget to bring my hp again keke so..... tts y i cont prac pinao =.=

alrite.. seriouslly tried... hands..... all the best tmr piano me!!!

10:49 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

wohoo!!! back!!! keke quite tired recently =.= keke i can actually slp frm 11+am till 4pm after bringing grandma back frm polyclinic today. today brought grandma to polyclinic to see the 3 monthly doc and yest brought grandma to nuh for check up! very tired! keke but wat's worth all these "hardships" are:

- doc says grandma is fine so far
- aunt aren't angry with me/us (she normally does cuz of wat we did)
- getting to noe aunt more ( and found out sth tt i shall elaborate later)
- the quality time with grandma *winks*
- knowing nuh more ( i duno if tis counted worth it anw ) as we are lik mazing ard frm nuh to kent ridge wing... gd thing i hav some sense of direction haha some...
- done some drawings? hmm....

- watch ppl walking about... ppl with smile ppl with mask ppl with stickers ppl lying on stretcher ppl sitting on wheelchair (grandma's one of them) ppl with white cloak ( tts the doc) ppl with flowery shirt (tts the nurse) ppl with a relief face ( tts ppl waiting at the taxi stand to go home) and ppl with gloomy face ( tts pply who alights frm the taxi going to b consulted and may be hospitalise)...

grandma with masks keke while waiting for consultation.... waited frm 9++am to 1++pm anw.. =.=zzz

haha thn of cuz me with mask keke... so 12++pm aunt came and thn i tell her bout EVERYTHING since the day she discharge cuz i m grandma's 24/7 nurse mah so i m the only one tt noes every thing -.-

so... a sigh of relief at least... and wat i had found out is... i think... ya i think.... jeanne is in a short term depression recently lolx.... as chatting with aunt on car, she's talking bout bringing her fren to c doc.. s a best fren of her tho so in the future will b me bringing tong lei to see doc hahax (choi..) ok so.... she s saying she is actually a very capable person but recently she is under depression totally breakdown ready. she s a perfectionist (sth lik me lol) so she duno tt actually she had acumalate little stress and depressions which thereafter pile up and tada... depression... she keps thinking negatively and kep thinking there's sth wrong with a body oso...

so i lookout for depression and here it goes:

People who are depressed may:

Think and speak more slowly than normal.
Have trouble concentrating, remembering, and making decisions.
Have changes in their eating and sleeping habits.
Lose interest in things they enjoyed before they were depressed.
Have feelings of guilt and hopelessness, wondering if life is worth living.
Think a lot about death or suicide.
Complain about problems that don't have a physical cause, such as headache and stomachache.

of cuz i din tot of death or suicide =__=ll jeanne wun b so foolish as to tot of those keke but others sounds too familar... so... ANW jeanne is fine now =) how she become fine?

actually is whn she can anyhow ans qn for aural lesson YET stil can strike the correct ans.. and oso..... thinking tt she had spent so much time and money and strength on piano... why not.... jus live with it... thinking back m really quite foolish to think of these things.... so.... i willl hang on and fight on and move on keke thank you all frenz whom have been encouraging me esp tong lei and yan yan! ok chao~~!!! tired....

p.s. bringing grandma for checkups here there aren't easy and smooth but noeing grandma is getting better is the best reward.

p.s. thn... wheeling grandma ard nuh to kent ridge wing (which i duno where initially =.=) aren't easy all by myself of cuz but ty to uncles and nurses who smile to me and help my hold the lift and telling me directions hahax thn of cuz ty to aunt sally who despite very busy stil come and acc us for the checkup halfway thru and bringing us back (hopefully sooner or later i can drive grandma for checkups =) ) alrighty! nitex!!

2:46 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y

Sunday, July 05, 2009

devianatart-alephunky-be happy

hmmm hi ppl! hmmm think scriptwriter is trying to tel me this....

do not give up cuz one day u will reach your goal..

am acting like a human tts giving up on life recently and now reflecting back... jeanne so foolish =.= ...is jus a little set back.... and i make it as if there's totally no more hope....

i shall really cancel tis sentence away in my mind : jeanne not gifted in piano she can never finish learning the last 2 piano pieces for exam.

THO i AM not gifted in piano.. tt one i noe very well... but since i m here at tis stage... which is
struggling in practicing and perfecting the pieces and
had alr paid so much for piano fee (really alot).... and
spent many of my lovely sunday morn in aural class.........
WHY am i stil thinking of giving up? a screw looose?

on my way home today frm aural class... past by mavis ( a tuition centre near my house for ur info), looking at teenagers of my age walking down frm there, i fel tt aren't they similar to me? they are OSO struggling with exams paper tat they are going to sit for soon? and which are papers that they may pass with flying colour or may fail with dull colours... but stil no matter how they have to sit for those papers. jus lik me... stuggling with these pieces and stil i had paid the exam fee and by default i hav to sit for the piano exam in one of the sep day... lik them... i ned "tuition" which = many practises. YES i did prac alot but my mental thoughts m obstructing my way thru.... these teenagers... they attend tuitions in mavis with the hope of getting a gd results and thinking they will be better attending than not attending so i shall have the same thinking as them : believe that i will do better everytime i prac and one day b4 exam day... i will beable to perfor these pieces nice and gd..

11:45 PM sprinklinq HaPpInEsS Y